Well, I have settled back into a city I lived in before, but now as a young professional instead of a student. There have been ups & downs since my return. I desperately miss the mountains and all that I did that was active & outside. I also miss the authentic friendships that I had in my last city and the women that I shared life with on a regular basis.
I've had lots of alone time, which has been good and bad. Good in the sense that I've been able to pause and reflect. To think about how much I've learned in the last 2 1/2 years about life - as a professional, single woman, friend & daughter. I've gone through a lot of grief and learned how to process that in a much healthier way. I've learned a lot of strategies for addressing triggers from my past and how to work through those in a way that will help me in the future, too. The bad part of alone time is that I often look for things to "medicate" the loneliness. Sometimes it's movies, music, food, daydreams, exercise, etc. Some of those are healthier ways than others, but it boils down to the fact that instead of avoiding, I need to process through the loneliness & wrestle with it with God.
I've enjoyed being close to different family & friends. I had a birthday open house/brunch that I hosted for myself in March. It was so fun to see people from so many different parts of my life who are so dear. I did miss my other friends a lot, so that made it a bittersweet birthday.
Another thing I've done a lot of is cook. My friend recommended an amazing bread book called "Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day," which is phenomenal, and makes the most delicious bread ever! I made pizza margharita from it that was absolutely gorgeous & tasted amazing. I can't wait to make something out of the "Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a Day" book that a friend gave me for my birthday (delicious, whole wheat bread anyone?). The local Farmer's Market has started up here already, which means that I've bought parsley, pasta & a basil plant (which is looking kind of pathetic due to the lack of sunshine on my patio).
I recently started doing a fitness competition with some friends to see how many steps a day we can take. I discovered that when I have a busy inpatient day, I can easily take 10,000 steps just at work. However, on slow days in inpatient (like today) or on outpatient days, I have to bust my rear by walking over lunch and running when I get home in order to get my 10,000 steps. I'm dreading Friday when I'm at a conference and sitting so much of the day or in the car. I have a feeling it may end up being pathetic in the steps realm.
I found a great church that I feel really challenged by on a regular basis. It's funny, but Sunday morning or evening is so hard to get going for church, and I totally think it's the enemy trying to thwart my attention from the truth of the Gospel that is preached every.single.Sunday. The more I learn, the more I recognize the depths of my depravity & need for a Savior & I how I want to share the Good News with everyone I know. Now to really act on it in relevant, meaningful ways that are orchestrated by the Spirit.
That's my life in a nutshell right now. Good things and struggles. I am a work in progress!
Through the Deep Waters
1 week ago