Wednesday, September 23, 2009

4 times...you think I would learn

Recently, I was informed by someone of the opposite gender that what had been confusing and vague for me for the past almost year has apparently been over since that time. Amazing how men expect to be able to have this big conversation about "just being friends," and then proceed to want the same kind of connection that they had before this conversation. Does anyone else see how this would be confusing for me?
What is even more frustrating for me is that I could have prevented this all by just saying "no" a year and a half ago. "No" to long distance, "no" to lack of commitment, and simply listened to the advice in He's just not that into you. What compounds this situation is that it is the 4th (that's right, 4th) time this has happened to me. You would think I would learn to avoid men with the same traits and characteristics. That the next time a man says he's deploying or what have you and he's not looking for a romantic relationship, that is my cue to run fast and hard in the opposite direction.
I think what is even harder to stomach is the comment on lack of "electric connection." Really, seriously? Apparently this is a much bigger deal to men than it is to me. I believe that there must be a connection, but I don't foresee it looking like the Atom Bomb mushroom cloud. I am a much more firm believer in choosing to love someone and making that commitment. I know that when I'm as huge as the Titanic because I'm pregnant, my feet are swollen and I'm hormonal the only thing that will save my relationship is not a Big Bang, but someone choosing to love.
Apparently the old adage is true, "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned." Although I believe that I handled the situation with the man in question very level-headed and appropriately. Now to find some comfort in the Psalms.

5 comments:

Marie said...

I AM SO SORRY! What an a-hole. Look, I get that that wasn't the most constructive comment I could leave, but sometimes it just helps to hear a friend say that. I love you very much and you deserve to be loved well. I'm glad you didn't put up with that mess for much longer. Go watch Army Wives and feel better..hee hee.. ;)

Em said...

Sorry, Nat!! I know this had to hurt. I am thankful that it's cleared up. Yes, next time run in the opposite direction (you're a fast runner) if commitment isn't a part of his vocabulary! If you need to chat, you can give me a call!

annaelyse said...

suck girl! We could organize a kc to co roadtrip to come rough him up a little. jk. I do the same thing, recognize patterns AFTER I've been through them again! Hopefully the psalms helped. Isa is pretty dang good too! love you!

michele said...

i'm marie's aunt and just wanted to tell you my heart hurts for you. i'm sure you are feeling like you wasted a year and a half, but it sounds to me like you have learned through the journey. i hope your own hand-picked 'prince charming' shows up soon and that you are able to find your happily ever after. be encouraged by this: you found out ahead of time that he wasn't a stick-with-it kind of guy...but they are out there.

and by the way...i didn't lurk around with all of marie's friends today. ;) she referenced you in that hysterical SNL clip, which made me think of you.

michele said...

oops...p.s. what i meant to say was that i hope you find GOD'S hand picked prince charming. ;)